You can get some of my stuff on the cheap at Smashwords, right now. Don’t miss it. Go. Go now.
You didn’t go yet. You’re gonna miss it.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
I don’t normally get philosophical, because as long as I have my vodka, pretty much everyone can go f themselves, but here’s the deal: It’s not okay to be “tired of hearing it” when you never actually listened to it, considered it, and tried to understand it in the first place.
I know this may sound like I just “picked a side” but that’s probably just because I poked you in the “I’ve had enough” spot and pissed you off because you are “tired of hearing it.”
I never even said what “it” was.
I was just pointing out that people are no longer listening to each other.
At all.
Which is fine by me, honestly. I don’t really give much of a fuck.
But here’s the deal:
If you ain’t gonna listen, then you ought not to be flapping at the mouth either.
Those two things go hand in hand. You talk and then you listen. You listen and then you talk.
If all you are doing is flatulating out of your face at full force, you should fuck the hell right off.
Now, Imma go have a drink, and, if someone listened to what I said and has something to say about it, I will listen too. But if you didn’t listen, and think you have something to say, I ain’t interested because it ain’t relevant.
It’s a two-way street, and one-wayers are welcome to drive right up each other’s asses and stay traffic jammed there in their own constipated stupidity.
I was quarantine shopping and found some things I wish I had.
Like these ice balls.
and these stemless glasses.
I don’t like the long, skinny stems. Not because I am afraid they will break, but because I am afraid I will snap them off. Can’t you feel it? When you pick those up and you feel that little glass straw between your fingers. Don’t you just want to snap those in half? It’s like a little rage demon inside of me trying to find a way to express itself, and the stems are something I just almost can’t keep away from him…. SNAP!
Oh, yeah. I can’t really be trusted with those. I need stemless glasses.
And as long as I am dreaming, look at this! Forget those little ice ball makers! As far as I can tell, this fridge makes ice balls! A new centerpiece for the whole house!
And I don’t even know what the hell this thing is, but I want it too, just because.
I seem to have developed a fetish for ice balls. I bet there is a great story idea in there somewhere…
Oh, you may have noticed, those are Amazon Affiliate links. They require I tell you something. I couldn’t figure out exactly what, so here, just have the whole fucking clause from their website:
5. Identifying Yourself as an Associate
You must clearly and prominently state the following, or any substantially similar statement previously allowed under this Agreement, on your Site or any other location where Amazon may authorize your display or other use of Program Content: “As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.” Except for this disclosure, and other than as required by applicable law, you will not make any public communication with respect to this Agreement or your participation in the Associates Program without our advance written permission. You will not misrepresent or embellish our relationship with you (including by expressing or implying that we support, sponsor, or endorse you), or express or imply any affiliation between us and you or any other person or entity except as expressly permitted by this Agreement.
Sorry it’s a mess now. I will try to get around to fixing what broke. Maybe.
I kind of almost don’t care.
Maybe in 2022…
I said I would do it, and I did. I wrote something. And now it is out there in the world.
Go ahead, make fun of it. I don’t care. I make fun of your babies too.
Samantha’s trip to Vegas gets off on the wrong foot when her friend breaks an ankle and can’t go, but Sin City has adventure in store for Sam anyway!
Jane Vodka’s Cocktail Romances are perfectly mixed tales that shouldn’t take any longer to read than it takes you to drink your cocktail.
Because it doesn’t always have to be all about sex or even about sex at all…
This is a short story just under 10k words.
You can find it, and more, here:
Sometimes, to get what you want, you have to dive right on in!
Sometimes, no matter how afraid of it you are, that’s where you will find what you are looking for.
Sometimes, that’s where you will find your happiness.
But you will never know unless you dive in!
Sometimes more is less.
Sometimes when you show a lot, no one sees anything.
Sometimes when you don’t show much, you are showing more.
When someone has to try to pay attention to you to see what you are all about, then you have their attention.
What if all he can see are your eyes?
What will he see in them?
Whatever it is, you will know for sure he has seen them.
This is an extremely rare, serious post, from Jane Vodka.
While fantasy is fine, it shouldn’t replace reality. On the surface, escapism is a wonderful thing. In fact, for many of us, it is really the only thing.
And that’s a bad thing.
In our modern society, is has become too easy to completely isolate ourselves socially while scratching the needs of the social itch with faux interactions.
Doing so allows us to “morph” into something that is not a natural state for us as human beings. We begin to live in a fantasy world that ignores the reality around us.
For some of us, this leads to being a “homebody” and we become sedentary. Gaining weight, losing muscle… essential finding a way to live vicariously through our electronics.
For some, this is video games. If you don’t really believe it can be a problem, start searching the internet to see what people say. Don’t just look to see what they say about it, look to see what they say they want:
“I want to stay home and play video games and watch TV all day”- Gamespot forums
“My son is a 20 year old addict” -On-Line Gamers Anonymous
For some it is binge watching television shows:
Now you might be thinking to yourself, “I don’t have those problems” or “those are personal choices, people can do what they want, it doesn’t affect me.” Well, you’re wrong. It can affect you. It has already started to affect a lot of people. It is fundamentally changing our society.
Did you get a chance to read the Time Magazine article, Porn and the Threat to Virility?
Basically, young men who grew up on internet porn are now claiming that they just aren’t aroused by real women.
Ha. Silly. Right? Right? That story is going nowhere.
Right…
A few thoughts from an article on Tech Insider titled ‘Herbivore men’ could be the reason nobody’s having sex in Japan’
“Only 1.001 million babies were born in Japan in 2014 — a record low — and 1.269 million people died.”
and
“…17.9 percent (of men) reported little or no interest in having sex — or even an extreme dislike of it…”
From Japanese Times News article titled “In sexless Japan, almost half of single young men and women are virgins: survey”
“A survey of Japanese people aged 18 to 34 found that almost 70 percent of unmarried men and 60 percent of unmarried women are not in a relationship.”
and
“Moreover, many of them have never got close and cuddly. Around 42 percent of the men and 44.2 percent of the women admitted they were virgins.”
Thoughts on the cause of this vary, but most echo this:
If you can’t put together what I am saying her for yourself, you haven’t considered the problem fully enough. If you don’t understand what the problem is, or how it can affect you, you haven’t considered the problem fully enough.
I may sound hypocritical, as I sit here and type this up, hoping to someday make money off of the things that I write, the entertainment that I write; the Romance, the smut, the porn. Whatever you want to call it.
But I don’t think that I am. I think fantasy has always had a place in human survival. I think fantasy is one of the things that separate us from the animals. It gives us hopes and desires. It makes us aspire. We use it to better ourselves.
Until we replace reality with it.
Consider this a public service announcement from Jane Vodka: Make sure you live your life. Don’t piss it away on fake fantasies. Use fantasy to augment your life, to improve you life, to make your life bearable. Don’t use it to distract you from being alive.
Now I’ma go drink this one off so I don’t have to think about it anymore.
You might remember I have mentioned that I have a friend who does this artwork and let’s me use it here.
This piece totally caught my eye. Mostly because of what it was named- Purple Smirk.
My friend argued this wasn’t a good image and wasn’t done and didn’t really want me to use it, because they didn’t even really like it, but I refused to be denied!
Actually, I am mostly in agreement about the image. It’s a little off. A little odd.
But then, so would be a Purple Smirk.
Damn.
I like the idea of a Purple Smirk. I want a Purple Smirk. I would bet I end up writing a story called Purple Smirk. Hell, I might even come up with a way to work that idea into a story.
Wait. Got it! Okay… Purple means Royalty, it means flowery, melodramatic prose… So. I need a character who is a princess-like person who graces through the world in..
Naw. Screw it. A Purple Smirk is the one you get from a hooker who knows you want her but don’t have the balls to ask how much.
I need a Purple Smirk. Off to the mirror to practice!