So by now, you’ve probably figured out Vodka is my drink of choice.

‘Why Vodka?’ you may ask.

Easy. It’s so that I don’t have a drinking problem.

‘What’s a drinking problem’, you ask? Drink, get drunk, fall down, no problem!

Riiiiiiiight.

Have you ever tried Tequila?

Tequila causes me to have kids.

Tequila makes me feel like I can run around naked in the snow—so I do.

Tequila makes me hot, horny, and hellacious.

Tequila is a drinking problem in a bottle.

That’s why I drink Vodka. It does none of those things.

Tequila caused all the problems in my life that Vodka now has to take care of.

Remember,

Tequila=drinking problem

Vodka=marriage counseling